“The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value.” – Stephen R. Covey
My best friend talked to me that i’ve been changed. He said that i become more quiet and looks so very calm. Well, i must say that I didn’t change. I Don’t change my self: I Love my self as I am. It should be most of my friend didn’t know me so well. He argues that I’ve been changed so many different styles. I just smiled and try to accept. But tonight I must admit, if I have a million idea rushing around my head. So where to start? Well I guess a good place like in this island would be to look a bit closer at the idea of “changing my life”. I wrote down this idea when I got vacation in Sangiang Island last weekend.
After i got some terrible accidents in the previous year. I become more selfish and try to not trust someone anymore except my family only. I felt so really introvert and didn’t know what to do and look so hard to find out someone to share about my problem. I just need my self only to contemplate and realize my folks. I had no orientation at that time. Feel so boring and lonesome. So many questions come to my mind. Why does people live change constantly? I always find people around me change in ways big and small. They change in ways good and bad. “PEOPLE CHANGE, THINGS GO WRONG, BUT JUST REMEMBER LIFE GOES ON” That makes conclusion in my mind If there is one certainty in life, its the fact that People will change in numerous ways throughout their life. In short, change is unavoidable.
I still remember about the past situation that gives me some weakness and fearness. I felt so dizzy and asked somehow. Why did this must happen to me? Its so bad.. really bad dream and come coincidentally in my head consecutively. I couldn’t sleep for a week at that time. I must have the courage to let go of bad things and won’t interfere with that was my motivation. It’s hard at the beginning. But my family always support me as well as show their work to see me more happy by doing some events with going holiday together and listening what my mind talks to them by let me a chance to move forward on!! My Family gives me a freedom. The greatest freedom I have in life is the freedom to choose. My life should not be determined by anything like my genes, my parents, what people think of me, etc…but i must responsible to the freedom that i choose..simple hugh?
Frankly, I try to share everything that happen to me by writing in a journal. Since I began writing especially for this blog, I have found ideas for posts or further research constantly pop into my head. Ideas come when I first wake up, when I am in the shower, when I am exercising, on the bus to and from work, and when I am writing posts on related or entirely unrelated material. I’m sure this is the same for anyone who is passionately want to change their live.
By the time, I got home in the middle of the night..my mind had settled somewhat. Quiet in the dark without sleep. I paused for a moment and stared at my reflection in the mirror. It was then that I said to myself: you sucked. That was it.That was the brutal, honest truth. I really need someone yelled to me with that rude statement. But never find someone to said that until It was then that I said. Then something strange happened: despite my disappointment, I felt at peace.
I want to change!!! Leave all the bad characters behind..start from little to little..by forgiving someone and then hard to forgetting someone. Sure, it is easier to blame external factors when things go awry. All this does, though, is make you vulnerable to more pain in the future as you will not have addressed the underlying issues. Then, I blamed my self only. All the tragedy were caused by me..I pointed out my finger to my face..then said to myself again: You Sucked!!!
Sure, my pride and ego had taken a battering. What I realized, though, was that by accepting responsibility for my role in the failed relationship, I was opening the door to change. I knew that if I was honest with myself, then I was giving myself the opportunity to address my shortcomings. I don’t want to live in the past…i want to live for today by day..and have my bright future.
I can already feel it. The change is coming. Like a wave beginning to build and build. Until someday it reaches the dry beach. It hits hard and washes everything away. Taking my familiarity and everything I know with it. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let them go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right.
Being original is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. Recently I have realised the amazing difference it can make to approach my life with a curious attitude after i try to choose something new…i feel become something and want a new person..More quiet and calm like what my best friend said. It is my origin character. Then I think, the lesson I can all take from this is: if I want to change, tell the truth.
“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive.”- Donald Trump
#sangiang, 16th June 2013